tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89470694511773596382024-03-21T00:44:45.036-07:00Porpoise Talk: What's the deal with porpoises?!Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-90267377567700935002013-01-13T15:47:00.003-08:002013-01-14T09:06:06.819-08:00#13 I haven't posted in over a year YEESHWow! Has it really been over a year since my last post? As they say, time really does fly when you're... when you're... when...<br />
I have something I need to tell you. There is a reason I haven't blogged in over a year. It may be safer if I keep my mouth shut, but as crazy as things have been lately, what have I got to lose?<br />
At the start of this blog, things were good. I was posting and people were really paying attention to me. I had finally found an outlet that people were really invested in; they were actually listening. "<i>People really do care about porpoises!</i>" I thought. I was in the spotlight. People left and right were exclaiming how wonderful my blog was. "<i>It's really awesome! You really know a lot about porpoises. You're so smart... and hot</i>" said a friend of mine who wishes to stay anonymous. "<i>You're blog's really awesome! You really know a lot about porpoises. You're so smart... and so really hot times two.</i>" said a parent of mine who wishes to stay anonymous. The attention that I was getting was so flattering, so fulfilling. I was eating it all up like it was a school of Pacific herring. But I got cocky, big-headed even. I started running my mouth, and when your mouth starts running, someone is eventually going to catch it...<br />
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October 18, 2011<br />
It was the middle of the afternoon, around 3 or 3:30PM. Probably 4PM. Not 5PM though. It was 2:38PM. I was sitting on the patio of my apartment at the time with my then-roommates, Kylie and Caleb. The air outside was cool, but the sun bathed the land in warmth; light jacket weather. Fall was late to show its true face, as the grass and trees across campus still held their ripe, green demeanor. "<i>Those trees look ripe</i>", I admired. "<i>Those motherfucking trees look green</i>", Kylie quipped. "<i>Those trees look demeanor.</i>" Caleb speakened (Caleb suffered an untreated head injury after a severe bike accident which he did not have enough beer money to afford medical attention). We were having drinks that day; a celebration of the immensely positive reception of the blog post I had released the day before entitled "<a href="http://porpoisetalk.blogspot.com/2011/10/12-creepy-crawlies-yikes-or-do-they.html" target="_blank">#12 Creepy Crawlies= Yikes! Or Do They?</a>". Mojitos were our pick of poison as we jauntily fawned over my newfound stardom. "<i>We should use all of the fucking money you make from advertising to print out some fucking pamphlets about why being a fucking vegetarian is enough good-doing to not have to fucking recycle.", </i>Kylie quipped. "<i>Yes, we should shall do." </i>replorted Caleb. Our spirits couldn't have been any higher. That's when I heard it; the sound of cold, wet pectoral fin slapping against our front door... "<i>Dolphins</i>." the horrid word escaped my breath as my mojito fell in slow motion, shattering on the patio. "<i>Hey motherfucker, you better clean that shit up, motherfucker.</i>", quipped Kylie, but I could not hear her over the crescendoing wave of shear terror that began increasing from a foreboding hum to an unbearable roar. "<i>Run</i>." I urged through a Laura Dern clenched jaw. "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT2tAQluk0E" target="_blank"><i>RUN</i></a>." I repeated. My roommates followed me as I slowly made my way from the patio indoors to our living room. Caleb looked confused. "<i>Where to we running from, Trapick?</i>" he inquirasked. Kylie quickly walked towards the door, but before she could get close to it, they were in our apartment. Two bottlenose dolphins somersaulted into the kitchen. The one on the left had a scar across its eye. The one on the right had side-parted bangs. "<i>Hey you shithead motherfuckers, why you bother knocking if you're just going to come flippin in like some gay shit or whatever?</i>" Kylie quipped. Almost instantly, "Scar" took her to the ground, pummeling her like a fleshy drum with his large, grey flippers. "<i>Klylie, nooooor!</i>" Caleb shoutled. Tufts of hair and ribbons of skin and pink tissue decorated the air around Scar as he stripped her face down to the skull. "<i>Fuck.</i>" Kylie quipped. Still in shock, I watched helplessly as "Bangs" advanced towards Caleb in somersaults as bottlenose dolphins naturally do. "<i>What will you do to me are you?</i>" Caleb pleaged. Instantly, Bangs thrusted her underbelly forwarded, revealing a gaping genital slit. "<i>No stop do please that to me don't!</i>" Caleb again pleaged. Lining up its genital slit with Caleb's head, Bangs let out a loud grunt as a spray of pink mucus shrouded Caleb's head which quickly acted as a lasso, reeling his head into the dolphin's spumous slit. Caleb's screams became muffled as his entire head entered the beasts bulbous canal. "<i>Don't you fuckin' hurt him you gay ass bitch</i>" quipped Kylie's skeleton face. With another loud grunt, Bangs tensed all of the muscles in her genital slit. Instant decapitation. Blood sprayed profusely from the gaping stump that was once Caleb's neck as his body rose to its feet and began just kind of like walking back and forth strangely. "<i>You fuckin' bitch you took my boyfriends head and now I can no longer live without him, motherfucker.</i>" Quipped skeleton-face Kylie as she threw Scar off of her and sprung to her feet. "<i>I am nothing without a motherfucking man in my life to fulfill my goals as a fucking woman! Take me too, gay bitch motherfucker!" </i>Quickly, skeleton-face Kylie sprinted forward towards Bangs, plunging her faceless head deep within the beastly creature's spumescent slit. "<i>Fucking kill me! Kill me!!!!</i>" quipped skullhead Kylie. With a third grunt, Bangs squeezed. Instant decapitation. Blood sprayed profusely from the gaping stump that was once Kylie's neck as her body rose to its feet and began just kind of like walking back and forth strangely with Caleb's body. In all of the commotion, I hadn't realized a third intruder had entered my apartment. As Kylie and Caleb's bodies did this weird thing where they, like, were bumping into eachother and stuff, I felt the cold, slimy weight of a large pectoral flipper land on my shoulder. "Oh no. OH NO." I smelled its breath on my neck, an all too familiar-in-the-worst-way smell. It was the smell of arapaima, a large commercial fish native to the Amazon river. It was an amazon river dolphin, an endangered species of dolphin with a white/pinkish complexion and a long, gharial-like beak. I knew him, his name was Brendan. I knew him because we dated when I was 10. "<i>Remember me?!</i>" he screamed in a shrill falsetto. "<i>Yeah because you're Brendan and we dated</i>" I said. And then he said "<i>No, I'm Mark?</i>" and I said "<i>Oh I must have had you confused with another dolphin I dated</i>." So it wasn't really Brendan, it was now Mark. Isn't that confusing? But he really looked and shrill-falsetto-scream-talked just like Brendan did and the first thing he said to me was "<i>Remember me?</i>" so that threw me off. Why would he say that to me if I didn't know him, you know? I miss Brendan. Anyways, I spent the next ten years being held captive as his sex-slave in his basement at his townhouse in Maine, where I developed stockholm syndrome and I started cleaning his house in exchange for one meal a day that I ate off of the concrete floor in his basement after he was done sodomizing me with his beak.<br />
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So that's why I haven't blogged in a while. See ya!<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
- DatBoiUWishCleanedUrHouse4Food<br />
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<div style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 20px; line-height: 27px;">
FUN FACT #12:</div>
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Like my feelings about my father's death, Porpoises' stomachs are compartmentalized.</div>
Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-72375308790100249832011-10-17T13:09:00.000-07:002011-10-17T13:19:01.975-07:00#12 Creepy Crawlies= YIKES! Or do they?Greetings from the keyboard, everyone! <br />
I'm trying more and more to keep up with writing this blog but it's just so hard sometimes to think of what to write about! I sit and ponder for minutes at a time, thinking my very hardest of things that you guys would find fascinating AND fun ("<i>Pat, why don't you just write about cupcakes then</i>?" I KNOW, right?! :P)<br />
While porpoises are interesting, fun, amazing, unique, entrancing, and the sole reason I cut, there is only so much I can write about them before I want to MiX iT uP! So, for this VERY SPECIAL post, I will be writing about...<br />
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Wait for it...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.asianweek.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/dreamstimeweb_angry374345_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" naa="true" src="http://www.asianweek.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/dreamstimeweb_angry374345_1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>"Spit it out already, ya doofus!"</em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div align="left">OK! OK!</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left">This post is going to be about...</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">CREEPY CRAWLIES!!!!!!</span></b></div><div align="left"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn.edu-search.com/uploads/laugh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" naa="true" src="http://cdn.edu-search.com/uploads/laugh.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>"No way! I can't wait! You're hot."</em></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I wanted to show you guys some pictures of:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1: The Prettiest</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">2: The Cutest</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">3: The Biggest</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">4: The Scariest</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">5: The Whackiest</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">and</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">7: The Grossest</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong>creepy crawlies</strong> in the world!!!!! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Here we go!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong>1: The Prettiest- </strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.rgbpicture.com/img/weird/bogomoljka/bogomoljka03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" naa="true" src="http://www.rgbpicture.com/img/weird/bogomoljka/bogomoljka03.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>The Orchideous Mantis!</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>A truly beautiful predator that waits in flowers for its prey!</i> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong>2: The Cutest-</strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmk4ladk711qcipw4o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" naa="true" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmk4ladk711qcipw4o1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>A baby jumping spider! </b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>This little guy is the definition of a Q-T!</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><br />
</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div style="font-style: normal;"><b>3: The Biggest-</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-style: normal; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.sixwise.com/images/articles/2010/05/Atlas%20Moth%20-%20World's%20biggest%20bugs_resize.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.sixwise.com/images/articles/2010/05/Atlas%20Moth%20-%20World's%20biggest%20bugs_resize.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>The Atlas Moth!</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>At 14 inches across, the Atlas Moth is the largest moth in the world!</i></div><br />
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<strong>4: The Scariest-</strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.thoughts.com/32wg9e600l165wm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://img.thoughts.com/32wg9e600l165wm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>The Huntsman Spider!</b><i> </i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>What if you wiped with it?</i></div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><b>5: The Whackiest-</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://pixdaus.com/pics/1224675904u9YG7B8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://pixdaus.com/pics/1224675904u9YG7B8.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>A Praying Mantis!</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>What in the hail does this lil' fella think he's doin?!</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Catching a cab?!</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>6: The Grossest-</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://blog.mysanantonio.com/matt/files/2011/03/illegalscrossingfence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="http://blog.mysanantonio.com/matt/files/2011/03/illegalscrossingfence.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Immigrants! </b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>These creepy crawlies are not only gross, they're ruining our economy!</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">KILL THEM <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">ALL</span>.</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
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Well, that wraps up this post! I hope you learned a thing or two about some very interesting invertebrates, and maybe you were even a little inspired to go exploring species on your own! The insect world is a wonderful and weird place that we humans are still learning much about. Unlike ethnic integration/equality, bugs shouldn't scare you because they are a natural part of our ecosystem and an essential factor in the equation of all living things! Be mindful of that the next time you go to squish that spider in your kitchen, who is only eating all the grimy bugs trying to eat the food in your cabinets. You should leave the spider be, because in a way, spiders are like border patrol; keeping things the way they should be...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://digitaljournal.com/img/9/0/1/2/2/1/i/4/8/1/o/Burning-cross2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="http://digitaljournal.com/img/9/0/1/2/2/1/i/4/8/1/o/Burning-cross2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>forever.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br />
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</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>'Til next time!</b></div><div style="text-align: center;">-NutzAboutPorpsANDbuGz09</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div></div></div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-8007051328638015972011-07-26T16:13:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:13:28.437-07:00#11 Catching up PLUS Reviews!!!Hey Dudes and Dudettes! How's it flippin'?! :P<br />
<div>It's been an H-E-double C-K of a long time since I've updated this and you're probably thinking:</div><div><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"You're so hot. Date me"</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Whoa! Easy! This is a clean blog people! ;)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">All joshin' aside, I haven't really gotten around to updating this for 6 Major Reasons:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">1.) I've moved home from the University for summer vacation! Yahhooo!! :)</div><div style="text-align: left;">2.) I don't have internet at home currently :( Yeah it stinks, but I'm grateful for everything else I have!</div><div style="text-align: left;">3.) I've been travelling all over the state to keep up with my friends from school. They're da BeSt!</div><div style="text-align: left;">4.)My Pelvis was crushed in a car accident. I had reconstructive surgery and am glad that everyone is ok!!!! </div><div style="text-align: left;">5.) I was raped by my mom's boyfriend post-surgery, which rebroke my pelvis and required another operation.</div><div style="text-align: left;">6.) I'm ADDICTED to the New season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians! I mean Khloe; can you even believe her?! :P</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">In other news, I've been receiving a lot of reviews about my blog! SOOOOO exciting! </div><div style="text-align: left;">Not everything was good, but you know, you take things with a grain of salt and you get better :)</div><div style="text-align: left;">Here are some things people have said! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Your blog is about porpoises..."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>-</i>Kaitlin Shultz</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"I'll look at it later."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Cat Abood</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"That's funny! Oh, I wasn't talking about your blog. </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i> I was thinking about something that happened in the Hangover 2."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Nate Dicken</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Don't mention me in it."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Carole Ivan</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Patrick, I said that I would look at it later. Let go of my arm."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Cat Abood</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Your blog rocks! Can I go now?"</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Sam Stefanak</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Please. You don't have to do this. </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>People will be looking for me."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Cat Abood (R.I.P)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Patrick. I know you know where Cat is.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Please... We need closure."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Sarah Hess (R.I.P)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Hey man. Sorry to hear about what your </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>mom's boyfriend did to you. How's your pelvis?"</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Luke Null</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"I don't care that you're already hurt.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That's what makes it feel so good."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Mom's boyfriend</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Why can't you just give us</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>closure?! Oh and I really like your blog </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>by the way. Cetaceans? Pretty neat stuff!"</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">-Mary Abood (R.I.P)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Great to know that I ACTUALLY have readers! </div><div style="text-align: left;">My next post will hopefully be more informative, and who knows? It might have to do with other animals I find interesting (creepy crawlies, anyone?) I'm not just a one trick pony, ya know! haha lol jk :P</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">C U L8r! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><3 Ready2Write :)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;">FUN FACT #11:</div><div style="text-align: left;">- "The Cove" is a documentary about the poaching/slaughter of dolphins by Japanese fisherman and NOT a love story about Dakota Fanning learning life lessons from a disabled dolphin while on vacation with her foster parents. Either way, I came buckets.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-49158314491557145192011-05-29T18:52:00.000-07:002011-06-29T23:14:08.772-07:00#10 A History Lesson'Sup guys!<br />
Haven't posted in a while so I thought this time I'd fill you in with a quick lesson in sea mammal history!<br />
Porpoises haven't always been as cute and playful as they are today. If you believe in evolution (meaning you aren't some no-life, corn-fed, inbred, retarded scumcunt) you will find this very insightful!<br />
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During the Miocene epoch, the time period that ranged from about 23 million to 5 million years ago, there lived one of the earliest cetaceans, <i>Eurhinodelphis</i>. It was very similar in size to porpoises and dolphins of today, reaching a little over 6 feet long. What was so interesting about it? Its snout (or beak in cetacean terms) was elongated like that of the bill of a swordfish and was very sharp, which it used to swipe at prey. This menacingly dangerous protrusion was not the only thing that made it terrifying, though.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mrugala.net/Nature/Animaux/Dinosaures/Eurhinodelphis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="328" src="http://www.mrugala.net/Nature/Animaux/Dinosaures/Eurhinodelphis.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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According to this artist's depiction, it also was also colored with cheap rose art colored pencils and had Gilbert Gottfried eyes...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2011/03/gilbert-gottfried-fired.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" i$="true" src="http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2011/03/gilbert-gottfried-fired.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Wow. Gilby's eyes are more Gilbert Gottfried-y than Gilbert Gottfried's</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">I didn't know sea mammals could have down syndrome!</div><div style="text-align: left;">Probably better that it's extinct then, huh?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Have a great week!</div><div style="text-align: center;">:P</div><br />
FUN FACT #10:<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">- Sometimes when I think about porpoises, my gums bleed.</div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-31157746800460645682011-05-19T16:17:00.000-07:002011-05-19T16:22:02.740-07:00#9 .,-*^*-,..,-*^*-,. Inspiration .,-*^*-,..,-*^*-,I hope you guys are enjoying my poetry lately! I don't want to over do it with all of these poetic entries, but I became VERY inspired the other day to write a poem that I think y'all will enjoy!<br />
A lot of my poetry may be very serious in tone, but I can write happy poetry to0! :)<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><i>Summer Sassin</i>'</div><div style="text-align: center;">By Patrick White :)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Sittin' outside</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>lemonade in hand</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you say </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Hey, I'm going in"</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"No!" I say</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm fun and feisty</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm always</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Summer sassin'!</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Sittin' in doors</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>on the couch</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>you say</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Hey turn the tv back on! I was watchin' that!"</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"No!" I say</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It's so nice outside</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Don't look now! I'm</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Summer sassin'!</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Lowerin' into the ground</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Mom says </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Patrick, your father loved you very much"</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"No!" I say</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It's too nice outside to just be layin' 'round!</i><br />
<i>Don't be a bozo! Start</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Summer sassin'!</i><br />
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</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You are why I cut.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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Have a great day, ya'll!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><3 Pat! :)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">FUN FACT#9:</div><div style="text-align: left;">-Porpoises are very playful and are very friendly towards human interaction! But, they are still wild animals, so remember that they deserve their space ;P</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-89285775729471954632011-05-16T14:27:00.000-07:002011-05-19T16:52:26.156-07:00#8 Solid Poetry.Hey y'all ;p<br />
How are you doing? How was your day?<br />
I just ate a turkey wrap with HOT SAUCE! (yow)<br />
<br />
~AnywH0z~<br />
I thought I'd start incorporating some different things into this blog.<br />
I've posted poetry before, but I would like to start posting pictures and then using said picture as inspiration for an on-the-spot poem!<br />
I know, you're probably/most likely/definitely/please be saying,<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i>"WHOA! How's he gonna do all that?! I love him a lot. </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>He should call me more"</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i></i>My answer to that is: </div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"I would like to start calling you more" </i></div><br />
These pictures/poems won't necessarily always be about/of porpoises, but most will.<br />
I'm gonna show you things you've never even thought about before.<br />
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<br />
And now...<br />
A taste of what's to <i>cum</i>...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.allbestwallpapers.com/wallpaper/water_world/image/belugas_underwater,_ocean_life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://www.allbestwallpapers.com/wallpaper/water_world/image/belugas_underwater,_ocean_life.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>"Beneath the Mirrored Sky"</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>By Patrick White</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Skimming the surface</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It's all we know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Skimming the surface</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>What lyes below?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Beluga whales,</i><i>Beluga whales</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In the ocean.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They live in water</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They don't need skin lotion.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
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</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.funnyanimalsite.com/pictures/Very_Weird_Birds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="532" src="http://www.funnyanimalsite.com/pictures/Very_Weird_Birds.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"Sisters of Luna"</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>By Patrick White</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In the night they cry</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In our hearts they pry</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Apart, they may live</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Together, they will never die.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Sisters of the moon,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Sisters of the moon</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They're just a bunch of kooky owl pals</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>actin' like buffoons. </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">*** NOTE ***</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">-Some poems I post may be from different authors!</span></b><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.swisseduc.ch/english/readinglist/angelou_maya/icons/angelou.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.swisseduc.ch/english/readinglist/angelou_maya/icons/angelou.jpg" width="279" /></a></div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"A Length from Grace"</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>By Maya Angelou</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Through a speckled lid</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>the sun retrieves a dusty heart</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The walk back to the passed</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>remembers us a length apart.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Struggling to rise</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>a song bird's song supports my back</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Lifted by the smell of plum pie </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The little things that take me back</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>they fade into the speckled lids</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The length from you, it grows again</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>A simple southern daughter</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Who's favorite album is </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Chocolate Starfish and</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Hot dog flavored water" </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Rests upon a seat</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>like hurricane winds</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>her brown eye heaves</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>What's left in the water is grace</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>a holy cherub</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>an angel's face.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
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</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">L8R :p</div><div style="text-align: center;"><3- Patty</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">FUN FACT #8:</div><div style="text-align: left;">-Porpoises can swim very quickly in water, <b>but</b> only when they are in it.</div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-54776644590683819572011-05-09T20:36:00.000-07:002011-05-09T22:14:19.852-07:00#7 The deal with dolphinsOk, so you may have gotten the gist from reading previous entries that I am a tad hostile towards dolphins, which is COMPLETELY false! How could I not love something so similar to a porpoise?!<br />
Oh wait...<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">3 REASONS DOLPHINS DESERVE HATE:</span></b><br />
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<b>3.) Dolphins gang murder and rape porpoises:</b><br />
Here is video documentation of a pod of dolphins mercilessly bludgeoning a baby porpoise to death, and then playing with its dead body.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/FZY6nYEq5i4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Wildlife experts theorize that this behavior is caused by the small size of the porpoise. Apparently, dolphins are only killing porpoises because porpoises are smaller and dolphins confuse them for baby dolphins. THAT'S RIGHT. Male dolphins routinely kill other male dolphin's babies so that their infant can have more food. "Oops! Sorry I killed you, happy baby porpoise. In my defense, I just thought you were a happy baby dolphin"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well THAT'S logical! Ok, Infanticidal dolphin, you are forgiven!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>2.) Look at this dolphin:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.easyart.com/i/prints/rw/en_easyart/sm/8/7/Just-friends-MirrorPix-87504.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://images.easyart.com/i/prints/rw/en_easyart/sm/8/7/Just-friends-MirrorPix-87504.jpg" width="304" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's eating the border terrier from <i>There's something about Mary</i>'s face.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">What? Killing your own babies isn't enough murder for you?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br />
</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>1.) The fuck? </b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/TLTRWYs2XPc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">IN CONCLUSION:</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Hypothetically- </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">If I accidentally poisoned a dolphin or 400 by</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">slipping uranium particles into bait fish and dumping them</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">into a rescued dolphin sanctuary</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">like I did yesterday... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I <s>don't</s> wouldn't feel that bad about it.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">:p</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">See ya l8r,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">BaTtyBoUtPoRpzz09 </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">FUN FACT #7:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">- Due to its mix of black and white coloration, the American Porpoise is often mistaken from afar for a juvenile orca. Less often, it is mistaken for Mariah Carey or Blake Griffin.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-65867314409420840042011-05-06T07:58:00.000-07:002011-05-09T21:08:01.328-07:00#6 Some super fun pics!Hey everyone!<br />
<div>Being the day after Cinco de Mayo, I'm sure no one is really wanting to read </div><div>a whole lot (we've all been there, teehee!)</div><div>So I thought I'd do everyone a favor by taking a load off their minds with some pics of...</div><div>PORCUPINES!!! Haha :P Kidding! Porpoises! Check it out!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.hsd3.org/HighSchool/Teachers/MATTIXS/Mattix%20homepage/studentwork/kelseyrocheleauwebpage/assets/dolphins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://www.hsd3.org/HighSchool/Teachers/MATTIXS/Mattix%20homepage/studentwork/kelseyrocheleauwebpage/assets/dolphins.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.zoenature.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/harbor-porpoise-by-WDCS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://www.zoenature.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/harbor-porpoise-by-WDCS.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/005/cache/harbor-porpoises_569_600x450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/005/cache/harbor-porpoises_569_600x450.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO8yUBXSIvCJRAPPAAL7p8v8njKCut2SWbfBZMv5O4T6DDvVAI15TNcz9DsLezyAM5Kmk5rJxMd4Vd7DS3hDHLPREfTstoK2Z-cBHOfP9OY_M0Ukvnco4sEIfJ6Vk1I2caBLSHRgRuSqI/s1600/Porpoise-7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO8yUBXSIvCJRAPPAAL7p8v8njKCut2SWbfBZMv5O4T6DDvVAI15TNcz9DsLezyAM5Kmk5rJxMd4Vd7DS3hDHLPREfTstoK2Z-cBHOfP9OY_M0Ukvnco4sEIfJ6Vk1I2caBLSHRgRuSqI/s400/Porpoise-7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://phillips.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/06/46porpoises_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="326" src="http://phillips.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/06/46porpoises_2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC2bo3-Kojhlo8f0899ccifkdApBS3_MXA78cRk6-y9uEHgo7TdDLxUGXFbsqZw6CibpJ2X5z-gN15E7rDTwkAmFC2_Zgmq53_su0YINfel9mzGf_UYKZoeYG9yqOFAk21kMeZnRFxnqs/s400/Dead+porpoise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC2bo3-Kojhlo8f0899ccifkdApBS3_MXA78cRk6-y9uEHgo7TdDLxUGXFbsqZw6CibpJ2X5z-gN15E7rDTwkAmFC2_Zgmq53_su0YINfel9mzGf_UYKZoeYG9yqOFAk21kMeZnRFxnqs/s400/Dead+porpoise.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.ministryoftofu.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/porpoise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="http://www.ministryoftofu.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/porpoise.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I know what you're probably thinking: "Why would he even post that picture?!"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well I happen to LOVE Lisa Frank's artwork and I couldn't find any trapper keepers with porpoises on them so, as my mom always says, "y'all just gonna have to settle for bottle-nosed dolphins!"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Have a great weekend, guys!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">-Pat! :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">FUN FACT #6:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">-Porpoises are one of several species of cetacean that are susceptible to training in captivity.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">You can see porpoises in shows at various Aquatic amusement parks!</div><div><br />
</div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-68149150898110464732011-05-05T16:20:00.000-07:002011-05-09T21:08:36.535-07:00#5 A Special Surprise!I've got a VERY special surprise for all of you! :)<br />
Today, my friend Gina and I did a collabo on a song about my most favorite Cetacean, the porpoise! I wasn't sure at first about how Gina felt about porpoises, but I knew I was in good company when she said, "What the fuck is a porpoise? How the fuck did you get into my house?!" Just follow the link to the audio file and enjoy!<br />
"Summer Cetacean" By Patrick & Gina <3<br />
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<a href="http://soundcloud.com/nastytrick/summer-cetacean">http://soundcloud.com/nastytrick/summer-cetacean</a><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">Tootles,</div><div style="text-align: center;"> Pat!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images7.cpcache.com/product/yangtze+finless+porpoise-what+is+a+porpoise-victorian+brooch+cameo+with+porpoise/128356297v5_225x225_Front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://images7.cpcache.com/product/yangtze+finless+porpoise-what+is+a+porpoise-victorian+brooch+cameo+with+porpoise/128356297v5_225x225_Front.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div>FUN FACT#5:</div><div>- Porpoises hunt in groups of around 5-10 other porpoises. These families are known as "pods". Not all pods are small, though. There have been sightings of porpoise pods with up to 50 porpoises together at once! WHOA! Dolphins also live in pods, but no one gives a fuck about dolphins.</div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-41001951719952381422011-05-05T08:24:00.000-07:002011-05-09T21:13:25.936-07:00#4: Can you guess what species of cetacean this is?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.embraceaustralia.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/false-killer-whale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="411" src="http://www.embraceaustralia.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/false-killer-whale.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
If you guessed "porpoise", you are WRONG :|<br />
This is actually a larger species of cetacean known as a false killer whale or false orca. They are the middleman: bigger than porpoises, smaller than orcas! They are a lot darker colored than most cetaceans, so it is a lot harder for them to be spotted or catch a cab. They are also the scariest looking of sea mammals and the most likely to come up from behind and tell you not to scream.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://greeningvancouver.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/false-killer-whale1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://greeningvancouver.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/false-killer-whale1.jpg" width="555" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I like to think that this dork is saying, "I know where your kids sleep, bitch" </i></div><br />
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See, I told you this blog wasn't going to be <u>just</u> about porpoises!<br />
Other cetaceans are also pretty cool too! :)<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">L8rG8r <3</div><div style="text-align: center;">F00tbaLLgUy89</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">FUN FACT #4:</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Dolphin pods often gang rape younger, solitary dolphins as an initiation into the pod. Now<i> that</i> would be one awkward after party! (J.K guys, dolphins don't party! :P)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-30399195968733831002011-05-04T21:33:00.000-07:002011-05-09T21:07:00.044-07:00#3: Two in one day? I'm getting greedy! ;P haha lol JKI promised myself I wouldn't update more than once a day, but this amazing zephyr of inspiration came to me for a poem that was too amazing to pass up! It's a poem about our quirky aquatic "qwassmates" (tee hee)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: italic;">,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> The PORPOISE of COURSE-iss (couldn't resist the rhyme teehee!)</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><b>"Sea Lover"</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><b>By...</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><b>Me of Course! :P</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><b><i><br />
</i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>The darkest night envelopes me</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>as waves decide my drift to sleep</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>as moon says not what I may see</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>and yet my lover touches me.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Touching me so soft and still</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Removed of scale, swim bladder or gill,</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>a dolphin, no</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>my lover gorgeous</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>none other than </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>my sexual porpoise</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>He takes me with his flippers strong</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>He pulls me down</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>I feel so wrong</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>He reassures me with an</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>"Eeeeyaaaaghheeeiiii!!!!"</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>As our descent thus turns to flight</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Like a plane with tiny wings</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>he slaps his tail into the night</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>into my orifice he sings</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>He nibbles gently, does not bite</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>until the subtle vibration brings</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>a lover's secretion, gooey in sight</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>And to my surprise, what beholds</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>he wants it all</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>into his blow hole</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Into the night, he sings to me</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>"not in the face, no seriously"</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>My porpoise lover</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>an aquatic friend</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>our lustful lust </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>comes to an end.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;">I had such a fun time reading this out loud. Poetry slams are the best! I only got to read this once, because the daycare I was performing at said I was being indecent. (More like THEY aren't down with PORPOISES!) YeAh RiGhT! >:/</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;">I seriously will write every entry with an emphasis on porpoises.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;">XoxO</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;">PorPoi5eGrL37</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;">FUN FACT #3:</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 20px;">- Porpoises belong to a family known as Cetaceans! That includes many species of dolphins, pilot whales, orcas, false orcas, and many other fascinating species! So go eat a bag of labias.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images2.sina.com/english/p/1/2008/0706/U137P200T1D170206F8DT20080706195445.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="427" src="http://images2.sina.com/english/p/1/2008/0706/U137P200T1D170206F8DT20080706195445.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; line-height: 20px;"><i>Aw! A mother and a baby porpoise! I know what you're probably thinking: "Where's the dad?" Well this just so happens to be a species known as the Single Mother Porpoise, more commonly known in tropical regions as Slut Porpoise, or in more urban regions, LeCreesha.</i></span></div></div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-24163974002666995322011-05-04T15:39:00.000-07:002011-05-16T22:32:36.786-07:00#2: Second Day of Blogging :PI really don't know why I deleted my xanga. It was the exact same thing as this. The stories on that site were beautiful memories; most fabricated memories of events that I wish had happened. Things like being skinny, or getting to go to a dance, or Lil' Kim burning down the school and stomping on a puppy in the street before defecating into a sewer drain. Little things like that. Deleting my xanga page was like aborting a child 4 years out of the womb.<br />
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</div><div>~N-E-wHoz~<br />
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I wrote poems today in class with my pal, Gina! She is really fun! She is really nice and has a good personality as well! Too bad she looks like a bloody shit and farts like a badger in a lard factory. hAhahaAH FucCk U gIna ur DaA onlY 1 hoo reAdz dis! Here is a poem I wrote:<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Denied"</div><div style="text-align: center;">By </div><div style="text-align: center;">Patrick White</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>How can this be?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>How can this be that I am a stone?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>A stone cast flimsily so</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>that not to cause ache in the castor's throw.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The courage I gather</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>in heaps</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>in mountains</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The knot I hold slides down my sides</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I have nothing left</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>nor anything to hide</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You took my key</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>my grail of sorts</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I seek retribution</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>through vaginal worts.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And thus I'm left naked</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Amongst the lurching swarms</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>to find myself crystal.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Just sell me the fucking Four Loko.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Ben Folds.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">It's a metaphor for getting your fake taken at Palmer fest. #i'mdeep</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;">~That was fun! Moving on...~</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div>We all had dinner for Caleb's birthday today at a REALLY nice restaurant. I think he liked it because when he found out where we had planned on taking him, he spit in my face and broke my knee cap. Then, he scalped me and stuff it into Kylie's anus. What a guy! Sarah Hess sat next to me! She had a bowl of french fries, so I snuck one :) I tried to grab another, but she had a steak knife in her purse and used it on my stomach about 5 times. There's still blood in my mouth :)<br />
Also, Carole was there. Fuck her. SERIOUSLY.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Omgzz Improv show tomorrow! Wish me fuck! Haha Jk I meant LucCCCkkkkkkKK HahHAH heeh teehhee haaahehehahehehaa </div><div><br />
</div><div>There's a void inside me destroying my fucking soul.</div><div><br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;">XoXO feckyew</div><div><br />
</div><div>FUN FACT #2:</div><div>-Researchers from Wildlife Observational Society recently discovered during a dive near the Florida Keys that Porpoises are pretty neat.</div><div><br />
</div>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8947069451177359638.post-91038561384879113362011-05-03T18:11:00.000-07:002011-06-29T23:42:09.333-07:00#1: My First Entry!!!! :)This blog isn't really about porpoises, but as a gimmick to keep the masses trampling back for more, I will try and include one neat fact about our sea-dwelling aquatic cousins in every post. I will also try and provide cool pictures to show you! Porpoises and other cetacean species WILL be a recurring theme, though- So, get ready to learn some new things! After all, porpoises are fun! :) oh, but if ur one uh dem bottle-nosed dolphin lovin' fagguts, I sudjest you wunder summere else. THIS. IS. AMAIRKA.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01671/dolphin_1671078i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="483" src="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01671/dolphin_1671078i.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I guess bottle-nosed dolphins kin be paytreeyotick tooz</i></div><br />
~Anywho~<br />
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I have a ten page script due for screenwriting tomorrow. Perhaps I should be doing that instead of writing a homophobically patriotic blog post about sea mammals. Nah. Porpoises are fun!<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;">XOXO- gossip girl</div><br />
FUN FACT #1:<br />
-According to a 1997 study performed a few miles off the coast of New Zealand by accredited marine wildlife conservationists working in cooperation with Conservation International and Columbia University, Porpoises are fun.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02271537571319803438noreply@blogger.com0