#7 The deal with dolphins

Ok, so you may have gotten the gist from reading previous entries that I am a tad hostile towards dolphins, which is COMPLETELY false! How could I not love something so similar to a porpoise?!
Oh wait...

3 REASONS DOLPHINS DESERVE HATE:

3.) Dolphins gang murder and rape porpoises:
Here is video documentation of a pod of dolphins mercilessly bludgeoning a baby porpoise to death, and then playing with its dead body.

Wildlife experts theorize that this behavior is caused by the small size of the porpoise. Apparently, dolphins are only killing porpoises because porpoises are smaller and dolphins confuse them for baby dolphins. THAT'S RIGHT. Male dolphins routinely kill other male dolphin's babies so that their infant can have more food. "Oops! Sorry I killed you, happy baby porpoise. In my defense, I just thought you were a happy baby dolphin"

Well THAT'S logical! Ok, Infanticidal dolphin, you are forgiven!

2.) Look at this dolphin:

It's eating the border terrier from There's something about Mary's face.

What? Killing your own babies isn't enough murder for you?

1.) The fuck? 

IN CONCLUSION:

Hypothetically- 

If I accidentally poisoned a dolphin or 400 by

slipping uranium particles into bait fish and dumping them

into a rescued dolphin sanctuary

like I did yesterday... 

I don't wouldn't feel that bad about it.

:p

See ya l8r,

BaTtyBoUtPoRpzz09 

FUN FACT #7:

- Due to its mix of black and white coloration, the American Porpoise is often mistaken from afar for a juvenile orca. Less often, it is mistaken for Mariah Carey or Blake Griffin.